Plaza

Wrote this last month for an assignment at school; a shortened, interactive version was created in Flash … but I was quite busy at the time and I don’t feel its good enough to show. I am however very fond of the poem itself that the assignment spawned. This was my first poem in over a year and a half, so I am by no means a “writer”, and it may not be technically amazing, but the content means a great deal to me. Let me know what you think!


Plaza

the expansive savanna ahead,
time passes us at a decelerated rate.
but now with
the vast tundra ahead,
time passes us at an accelerated rate.

In the present
it stares us down
with its unfeeling flow,
leaving nothing behind but an empty plain.

New pastures rising,
your cold, perpetually shifting image
wavers like a mirage;
only the fleeting memory of your presence persists.

Words were always just
secondary;
authenticity of humanity was
first.

The square continues to scale
down
and down
and down.
endlessly down.
(only your voice remains.)

I never met you,
but I
hate you,
miss you;
love you.

Your figure has vanished from my vision but
someday, surely ...
we can meet again
in that place.

The silent tryst must not be broken.

Might I ask what the details of this assignment were? I am quite fascinated by this poem and what is was formed from.

In short terms though, I love immensely. I love to read non-"writers" writing because it always turns out better, with less expectations, and it's often in a more tasteful, humanistic sort of writing. It's clear; and I love that.

On the other hand, if you wanted me to analyze it like a Nazi, I can grade it like I would in a Weber class.

Hihi Ren wrote:

Might I ask what the details of this assignment were? I am quite fascinated by this poem and what is was formed from.

In short terms though, I love immensely. I love to read non-"writers" writing because it always turns out better, with less expectations, and it's often in a more tasteful, humanistic sort of writing. It's clear; and I love that.

On the other hand, if you wanted me to analyze it like a Nazi, I can grade it like I would in a Weber class. :roll:

It was called "Poems that Go" and we had to write a poem that could be animated and made interactive in a Flash form.

Thank you. That can make it better in a lot of senses, don't you think? It's more intuitive.

Hah, not really. I just wrote what I felt, and thus grades are totally irrelevant! :P

Hm, interesting concept. I'm surprised you got all that out of such a small topic. But, nevertheless, still just as brilliant.

Agreed, agreed. I do think so (I think very much or very little on such occasions as well). Sometimes I wish I didn't try to be a writer and could just simply write.

Funny how grades are a good portion of what our lives are based on.

Hihi Ren wrote:

Hm, interesting concept. I'm surprised you got all that out of such a small topic. But, nevertheless, still just as brilliant.

Agreed, agreed. I do think so (I think very much or very little on such occasions as well). Sometimes I wish I didn't try to be a writer and could just simply write.

Funny how grades are a good portion of what our lives are based on.

It was a topic I was thinking about heavily before, the assignment just gave me an avenue to make it happen.

Why can't you just do that then?

Unfortunately, but at the same time, for anything that is remotely creative they are meaningless.

When you spend a lot of your time thinking about writing and how to write and what to write, it's not that easy to stop being a writer. And a lot of it seems to be destiny - or something called destiny that tells me I have to write. It's hard to knock it out of your head when you've drilled in it in there that you are a writer.
Occasionally, I whip something out that has little to no writing skill involved in it and they seem okay, in a sense. But they're not really extraordinary.

Hihi Ren wrote:

When you spend a lot of your time thinking about writing and how to write and what to write, it's not that easy to stop being a writer. And a lot of it seems to be destiny - or something called destiny that tells me I have to write. It's hard to knock it out of your head when you've drilled in it in there that you are a writer.
Occasionally, I whip something out that has little to no writing skill involved in it and they seem okay, in a sense. But they're not really extraordinary.

Ode to a Brown Leaf was exquisite....
and yeah, I completely agree with the writer thing. On a completely unrelated note, this uses html coding (kinda)! And that makes me happy!!

Scottbot (yes, I know your name is Scott but I like Scottbot so blah) your poem is amazing. I really, really, really like it

potatopancakesattack wrote:

Hihi Ren wrote:

When you spend a lot of your time thinking about writing and how to write and what to write, it's not that easy to stop being a writer. And a lot of it seems to be destiny - or something called destiny that tells me I have to write. It's hard to knock it out of your head when you've drilled in it in there that you are a writer.
Occasionally, I whip something out that has little to no writing skill involved in it and they seem okay, in a sense. But they're not really extraordinary.

Ode to a Brown Leaf was exquisite....
and yeah, I completely agree with the writer thing. On a completely unrelated note, this uses html coding (kinda)! And that makes me happy!!

Scottbot (yes, I know your name is Scott but I like Scottbot so blah) your poem is amazing. I really, really, really like it

I dont think it really matters what his name is. He prefers SCOTTY WARP FACTOR NINE! though.

potatopancakesattack wrote:

Scottbot (yes, I know your name is Scott but I like Scottbot so blah) your poem is amazing. I really, really, really like it

Thank you!

And Sarah, contrary to popular (Sarah-)belief, I DO NOT PREFER BEING CALLED THAT.

scottbot wrote:

potatopancakesattack wrote:

Scottbot (yes, I know your name is Scott but I like Scottbot so blah) your poem is amazing. I really, really, really like it

Thank you!

And Sarah, contrary to popular (Sarah-)belief, I DO NOT PREFER BEING CALLED THAT.

NO PROBLEM SCOTTY WARP FACTOR THREE.

ooki wrote:

NO PROBLEM SCOTTY WARP FACTOR THREE.

NO SARAL, NO.

scottbot wrote:

ooki wrote:

NO PROBLEM SCOTTY WARP FACTOR THREE.

NO SARAL, NO.

IM SO SORRY SCOTTY WARP FATOR SEVEN.

....Scotty Warp Factor Jill? It's the fastest, you know.

potatopancakesattack wrote:

....Scotty Warp Factor Jill? It's the fastest, you know.

BUT CAPTAIN! WE CAN'T SUSTAIN THAT SPEED!

And actually guys (because I'm the Star Trek nerd, I know), what we're all shouting, it would be said at Sulu, not Scotty. So, please rephrase.
Like this: "SCOTTY BEAM ME UP!" And then he might reply with a: "YOU BET YER ASS CAPTAIN!"


And then Sulu (after confusing him and Mr. Scott): "Girl, don't even."

good job totally hijacking my lovely thread guys! :D

scottbot wrote:

good job totally hijacking my lovely thread guys!

You are welcome!

Hihi Ren wrote:

scottbot wrote:

good job totally hijacking my lovely thread guys!

You are welcome!

Would you have really expected any less?

And hmm...that does pose a problem E.
What can I yell at scotty then?

Mm, say something about Scotch and tell him he's not "giving it all I've got, Captain!"

Or: SCOTT! YE CANNAE CHANGE THE LAWS OF PHYSICS!

Hihi Ren wrote:

And then Sulu (after confusing him and Mr. Scott): "Girl, don't even."

I have a problem with this!! Well, not like a big problem. Just a little one. "Girl, don't even" makes me immeadiately conjure up that face of Oscar's. Which is posing enough problems as it is, fangirls and the such. Can we Sulu-ify another phrase?

potatopancakesattack wrote:

Hihi Ren wrote:

And then Sulu (after confusing him and Mr. Scott): "Girl, don't even."

I have a problem with this!! Well, not like a big problem. Just a little one. "Girl, don't even" makes me immeadiately conjure up that face of Oscar's. Which is posing enough problems as it is, fangirls and the such. Can we Sulu-ify another phrase?

eww oscar. ew.

Well, you know what, boo on you. Sulu doesn't have many catchphrases (that's not even his, it's just a John Cho face) and all he does is fence and take care of plants.

Hihi Ren wrote:

Well, you know what, boo on you. Sulu doesn't have many catchphrases (that's not even his, it's just a John Cho face) and all he does is fence and take care of plants.

PLANTS <3 <3

ooki wrote:

Hihi Ren wrote:

Well, you know what, boo on you. Sulu doesn't have many catchphrases (that's not even his, it's just a John Cho face) and all he does is fence and take care of plants.

PLANTS <3 <3

BOTANY!

You know Sarah, you should be a botanist (with some fish stuff on the side) because you love plants and then you can draw them in amazing detail and the scientific world would be amazed at your awesomeness and then I can sit back at home with the daily newspaper and go, "Yup yup, that's my Sarah-Sarah. Super awesome and ridiculously cool."

Hihi Ren wrote:

ooki wrote:

Hihi Ren wrote:

Well, you know what, boo on you. Sulu doesn't have many catchphrases (that's not even his, it's just a John Cho face) and all he does is fence and take care of plants.

PLANTS <3 <3

BOTANY!

You know Sarah, you should be a botanist (with some fish stuff on the side) because you love plants and then you can draw them in amazing detail and the scientific world would be amazed at your awesomeness and then I can sit back at home with the daily newspaper and go, "Yup yup, that's my Sarah-Sarah. Super awesome and ridiculously cool."

That might just work. I want ot be an illustrator, and there are fields for marine and botany illustration... =D PLus that would ba an excuse to keep a crapload of plants and fish around the house.